Fear of Man vs. Your Calling

This last week I got to speak on the fear of man. This is something I struggle with, and always have. Yet, here I was asked to speak and encourage others dealing with this, and provide answers for how to overcome this. What a fun time I had preparing this talk! I had to face my own fears, and conquer them, well, at least enough to get up and speak to those I feel inferior to, or unworthy to be in front of...

So what is fear of man? It's pride. Fear of man is caring more about what people may think than what God is asking you to do. Putting your own thought or expectations and those of others above God's......

What can we do to overcome this fear?

• Remember that the gifts and talents we have (no matter to what degree we think we actually have them) were given to us to use! Not to hide, not to compare to others, not to refuse to use out of fear of shortcoming or failure, but to put out there, for all to see and all to benefit from. And they were given to us to use for God's purposes. 
• Remember that our popularity is not as important as our calling. What you were called to do, what we were all called to do is to "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20 That may not make you popular, but it is so much better to walk with purpose than to walk with a crowd of followers. 
• Remember that the greatest obstacle to fulfilling the call to the great commission is not our history, our financial ability, our training, but it is fear. We look in the mirror and feel we fall short of some expectation and so we don't feel qualified. So start asking God what He sees when He looks at you, what He created you to do. 
• Courage, true courage is the only thing that will conquer the fear of man. Courage that comes from the one who created you to use your gifts for his kingdom, from the one who made you EXACTLY as you are. Courage to just be you and let God direct you in how to be you in a way that helps His love and his word change the world. Courage begins when we’re honest about our fears. And then we choose to face them.

This life is your mission field, this is where you live out the great commission. Fear doesn’t get to win anymore. God is calling us to join Him in the great commission. It’s like getting picked first for dodgeball, He wants you on his team! He knows you can help him win, so stop letting fear hold you back, and get in the game. 

I hate change as much as anyone else. This last week though I was presented with a possible change and, as much as I hate to admit, I had a melt down. This change affected my ministry, my time, my passions, all of it. Instead of looking at what these changes could mean, I panicked.

Then I had to ask myself why. Was I really not wanting that change? Was the person presenting the change really trying to take something important from me? Or was I scared that letting go of this meant I somehow failed?

Change is scary, but mostly because it means we don't have control. So my advice, worthless as it may be, for facing change:

1. Take time to evaluate what the change means, the good AND the bad. If you only look at what you're losing, you will miss what you may be gaining.

2. Ask someone you trust to help you evaluate the change, they may see advantages/disadvantages that you don't.

3. Set small goals for stepping into the change coming. Plan, prepare and be willing to let go small bits at a time. That way, when the change fully comes it's less traumatic.

4. BREATHE!! I know, change can feel like life is shattering, but find ways to work through little parts at a time, this maintains the illusion, yes illusion, that you still have some control. You don't, but it will help you navigate and survive the change.

Worthless advice? Maybe. But it's helping me let go of something that I thought I needed and release it to someone who can do a better job with it.

Seasonal Fruit

Seasonal Fruit

My family amazes me. I kick and fight to get them to eat fruits and vegetables while they're in season and they whine the whole time. But as soon as a fruit or vegetable is out of season and hard to find, or very expensive they suddenly ask me to buy it. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "mom, when can we have artichokes again?" in December. Or, "can you get some watermelon?" in March. 

I have good days and bad days, and it would be easy to say that I'm allowed to act this way, it's just a bad day. But is that the truth? 1 Timothy 4:1-2 says: I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 

God says we're to always be in season, always ready for whatever He asks of us or whoever He brings across our paths. Hmm.... My little task-oriented, people-ignoring brain doesn't quite grasp this verse sometimes. Sometimes I want to say, "Sorry, I'm not in season yet, talk to me next week, or next month, or even next year." And yet, God says to always be ready, ready to do what he asks WITH COMPLETE PATIENCE!!!

I believe this ties right in with the type of fruit we are supposed to bear. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. 

Patience is usually seen as this unreachable perfection we should all strive for. There are thousands of quotes and insights on patience, and I found a few that spoke to me of the depth of patience we don't often acknowledge. 

“I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly to pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.”

― Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control

"The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours." - John Piper

“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.” ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

All of these rely on a trust in God, a trust that He knows what He is doing, and that He has the best in mind for us as we wait, or endure, or tolerate whatever situation has come our way. 

We cannot only bear fruit, God's fruit, seasonally. There is a world that needs to know that God loves them, He created them with a purpose and He CHOSE them! Our fruit must always be ripe, ready, and free.

Sink or Swim

This week I was reminded of a story my mom often tells. She tells the story of me, at three years old, swimming the entire width of an olympic sized pool without help. She talks about how brave I was on the high dive and on how my instructor tricked me into swimming the width by taking one step back over and over again until I reached the wall. But she was wrong. I did not swim across without help. I swam to my instructor who was only one step away, encouraging me, promising to help me if I needed it but reminding me that I didn't. That encouragement, that faith in me was what got me across the pool.

This week, I faced some discouragement. It was discouragement that, for the first time in a long time, made me want to stop, to tread water where I was until I could get out of the pool and give up. There is a goal I have been working on for 4 years, and I thought it was within reach finally. I was getting excited, seeing the finish line, feeling like it was just one more stroke in the pool when I got a phone call letting me know that not only would my goal not be completed this year as I expected it would, but that it would be another two years before I was done. I felt like a deflated balloon.

This happened on a day that I was administering reading tests to the whole 2nd grade at our school. Watching these kids struggle to read and being able to show them how much they've improved, encourage their growth and provide books and advice for continued improvement is normally one of my favorite things to do. Today it was hard. Giving out encouragement when I felt like I had none was exhausting. I did my best, as I truly care about these children and their growth, I was not about to let them feel my discouragement.

Coming home that evening, I was encouraged by all of my children. They have come so far in life, and grown so much. There have been struggles, real struggles with two of my children. Major issues that int he moment (or years) seemed like they would never go away. Sitting there at the table with them for dinner, talking about where they are in life right now, hearing them talk about their futures and goals reminded me that it really doesn't matter where I am in the journey to my finish line. It matters that I run the race well and that I cross the finish line. So how do you encourage when you are discouraged? You listen to your instructor, telling you, "it's just a little farther, you can do it, don't stop pushing, go, go, go!!" And you just keep pushing. Why? Because it's worth it. Knowing God is as proud of my growth as I am of my children's growth makes it all worth it.

The Danger of Comparison

So often, I find myself looking at what I am not. I am not outgoing, I am not relaxed, I am not always confident, I am not as skinny as I once was.... But there is a real danger in comparison. In my experience, comparison does three things. 

Comparison is an identity thief

Comparison causes you to look at what everyone else is and miss who you are. All of us have a unique identity, a unique sense of who we are supposed to be, and when we start focusing on what we aren't in light of what others are, we start to forget the remarkably unrepeatable creatures that we are. 

Comparison is a joy thief

Theodore Roosevelt said it first, comparison will steal your joy. There is a joy that comes each time you have a personal triumph, overcome a fear or step out more into who you were called to be. There is joy that comes in being completely and wholly yourself. Without that, when lining yourself up ext to someone you're not, there is only frustration, insecurity and a sense of inferiority. 

Comparison is a credit stealer

When we compare ourselves to others, we are stealing the credit from the very one who created us. God made us unique, and there are thousands of little things that make you "you." When we look to everyone else for who we should be, we lose sight of who we are, and that is who we should be. 

There is something amazing about when you meet a person who seems to truly shine as themselves. They seem authentic, exciting and radiate this sense of pure (real, not false) confidence. I have had brief moments of this, brief times of feeling true to myself and absolutely 100% me. Looking to the One that created me, and thriving in the life He has given me is the only way I know to find those moments. So don't look at others, don't look for flaws, look to the creator and enjoy who He created you to be. 

Images taken from:
http://www.musicianswidow.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/20140310-203156.jpg
http://kingpinlifestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/how-to-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others.jpg

Burn Me

Baby steps...to big dreams

I was talking to a group of teens and pre-teens this week about what they feel they were called to do in life, or what they wanted to be when they grew up. I was impressed by some of the answers and as we began to talk to the older students about how they could incorporate these goals into their senior projects and fun ways to make their job shadows more interesting I realized three things:

1. As parents and leaders we often ask where people are going but don't take the time to help them get there.

2. There are always practical things we can be doing NOW to reach our goals before we even get there.

3. Bigger goals and dreams simply take more little steps than small goals and dreams.

As I talked to children who dream of working for NASA, being nurses in other countries, teaching middle school math, becoming a veterinarian, and many more fun, worthy goals I realized i can help them NOW. The future math teacher can tutor now, the future nurse can volunteer at a clinic, the future veterinarian can help in a clinic as well, and the future NASA specialist can start studying with local science teachers and visiting science centers in her area.

What's stopping you? If your goal seems too big, or too far away, stop stressing and look at what small steps can be taken now to help you grow and be ready for your dreams.

Want to write a book? Start with a blog or a newspaper column.
Want to be a missionary? Find local needs and start volunteering. Learn a new language.

What's stopping you from reaching your goals? Maybe it's just that you haven't started taking steps in the right direction yet.