First Love

I am one of the most task oriented people I know. In my years of youth ministry I had a few young ladies brave enough to tell me that when I was focused on something I would completely forget people were around, and it made me look like a jerk. There have been many church work days where the ladies would want to enjoy the lunch break, spending time in fellowship and just relaxing. I could not stand this, and often spent the entire time listing all that still had to be done and all but itching to get back to it. Over the last few years I have asked God to help me work on this, to help me not get tunnel vision and run right over everyone around me. The first thing He did was show me that this is how I try to approach Him. This is what He told me:

• You have set aside your first love for your own style of loving and worshipping Me
• You have allowed what you are doing become bigger than who I am
• You have mistaken my intentions, and you are seeking to earn My love instead of live in my love

So what now? Any time I feel that tunnel vision closing in, my tasks mattering more than God and everyone else, including my family, I take 5 minutes and remind myself of three things.

• I think back to the first time I felt His love, and remember that I had done nothing to deserve it. I remember that first moment where the filth of who I had been was washed in the glory of who He is. 
• I remember the sense of awe that came as his mercy washed over me, how small I felt in light of how awesome He is. 
• I allow Him to woo me again. Like another first date, another honeymoon, I allow the joy of His love to be the center of my focus.

In those 5 minutes, everything else fades away. He reminds me that everything else pales in comparison to how much He loves me, and how much He has always loved me, even before I knew him. Then I can go back to what I need to do without forgetting how important the people around me are, and how big the God I serve is.