Sink or Swim

This week I was reminded of a story my mom often tells. She tells the story of me, at three years old, swimming the entire width of an olympic sized pool without help. She talks about how brave I was on the high dive and on how my instructor tricked me into swimming the width by taking one step back over and over again until I reached the wall. But she was wrong. I did not swim across without help. I swam to my instructor who was only one step away, encouraging me, promising to help me if I needed it but reminding me that I didn't. That encouragement, that faith in me was what got me across the pool.

This week, I faced some discouragement. It was discouragement that, for the first time in a long time, made me want to stop, to tread water where I was until I could get out of the pool and give up. There is a goal I have been working on for 4 years, and I thought it was within reach finally. I was getting excited, seeing the finish line, feeling like it was just one more stroke in the pool when I got a phone call letting me know that not only would my goal not be completed this year as I expected it would, but that it would be another two years before I was done. I felt like a deflated balloon.

This happened on a day that I was administering reading tests to the whole 2nd grade at our school. Watching these kids struggle to read and being able to show them how much they've improved, encourage their growth and provide books and advice for continued improvement is normally one of my favorite things to do. Today it was hard. Giving out encouragement when I felt like I had none was exhausting. I did my best, as I truly care about these children and their growth, I was not about to let them feel my discouragement.

Coming home that evening, I was encouraged by all of my children. They have come so far in life, and grown so much. There have been struggles, real struggles with two of my children. Major issues that int he moment (or years) seemed like they would never go away. Sitting there at the table with them for dinner, talking about where they are in life right now, hearing them talk about their futures and goals reminded me that it really doesn't matter where I am in the journey to my finish line. It matters that I run the race well and that I cross the finish line. So how do you encourage when you are discouraged? You listen to your instructor, telling you, "it's just a little farther, you can do it, don't stop pushing, go, go, go!!" And you just keep pushing. Why? Because it's worth it. Knowing God is as proud of my growth as I am of my children's growth makes it all worth it.